Welcome to My City

We lived in the barracks for a short time, then moved out to some tactical training bases (TTBs), which consist of a bunch of semi-permanent tents. As we moved around, we always slept in the same positions within the tent, so it felt like we were always at home.
I slept on the end of the tent that was more lively late at night (apparently the other guys thought joking around at midnight ought to cease since we knew we had to be up by four). So we’re all laughing and joking, and then things get quiet and we become aware that someone on the other end is snoring pretty loud.

“Who is that?” I asked.
A disembodied voice responded, “It’s Watkins, but I can’t get him to quit. He won’t wake up.”
“Well kick him until he does wake up.”

About thirty seconds more snoring went by, then it stopped.
“Okay, I finally got it,” the disembodied voice came back.
I lay back to go to sleep, but after a few more seconds of silence in the tent, something occurred to me.
“Hey, what did you do to get him to stop?”
“Oh, I just covered his face.”
“We’ll sleep good tonight, but we’ll wake up and Watkins’ll be dead. Awesome.” Everyone on our end of the tent started laughing and joking again, and it was a while before we got to sleep.

In connection with TTBs, I wrote this down as it happened.

15 July
My squad fell in with another today on the way back to the FOB (TTB West). Their conversation went something like this:

One: Welcome to my city.
Unison: TTB West!
One: Please check all weapons at the door. They will be available for pick up on exiting my city.
Unison: TTB West!
Two: Please do not use the sinks or piss in the showers.
Three: No shaving in the sinks—that’d give you warm water.
Four: You can’t shave in the sinks? Since when?
Two: Read the sign on the door. It says so right on there. And you can’t piss in the showers.
Officer walks up
Officer: Any ya’ll know a Patrick O’Brien?
Three: I think he’s seventh regiment. They go home today.
One: Leaving my city.
Unison: TTB West!
Two: As always, we hope you enjoyed your stay in my city.
Unison: TTB West!
Sergeant: MINUTEMEN!!!
Unison: SIXTY SECONDS!!!
Two: So what platoon are ya’ll?
Me: Second.
Two: Second? Oooh. So ya’ll’re the singers.
Smith: You gotta do something to keep yourself entertained.
Four: We got charm in third squad.
Third: We make jokes in third squad, but we ain’t no singers.
Me: We sang a good one on the way out here.

We then gave a stunning rendition of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling,” complete with back up singers, snapping, and parts for the main singers, all greeted by thunderous applause.

I love Army.